ARE YOU A "BRAINFUCKER"?

I know--such a nasty term, but what I mean is, do you think things to death? Do you already have a vision of the "end" in sight before you even know the facts of the situation? Well, I do.

Yup.I will take something from it's incredibly feel good moment and within five hours, I have the whole scenario of how it's going to end in my head. Not only do I have the end in my mind? I weep for the sadness of it all.

CASE IN POINT:

I said previously that I am seeing someone, and, I am...I think..(that answers a lot of questions already, right?)

Here are the facts my someday avid "reader"..About five months ago, I met a man in the city..San Francisco. He was persistent and English--two of my top ten criteria. Now..what's funny is that I had announced to my girlfriend when she picked me, "Know what? Tonight, I'm gettin' laid". Well! She just hooted. "Are ya' now?" "Yup" I said--It's been long enough.

Did I imagine for a heartbeat I would? Nope? Had this man not insinuated himself in my space, I'd have gone home and in the morning remembered I had said, "Know what? Tonight I'm gettin' laid"...and my friend and I would have laughed and laughed...but there he was. The bluest eyes I'd ever seen...and hair like carpet..the kind of carpet you understand your dog wanting to scoot his ass on...thick and dense. And then he spoke. (sigh) I was done. I don't know why British men do it for me. Every time I'm there, I never get hit on--so reserved..but here in the states, I've dated 8. I don't know why. It's not like I'm out there with a sandwich sign "WILL STRIP FOR BRITISH ACCENT"--although I have heard of an underground support group. I don't need support-I don't want to quit.

The man brought all the guns out--compliments..drinks...dancing..I have to tell you about the dancing--I CANNOT dance with men..I'm so incredibly self-conscious. This man took me on the floor and we moved as though we had been together forever--how damned romantic is that---but, as usual, I digress.

The short of it is, after what seemed hours but was probably 15 minutes..I whispered to him, "Take me outside, back me against a wall and kiss me"

Poor baby didn't know whether shit or wind his watch. He blustered a moment and in his very reserved English accent--'Excuse me?"

Soooo...I took him by the lapels, leaned in so seductively close to his ear and I repeated, "Take me outside, back me against a wall, and kiss me."

I didn't really give him a chance to think about it..I had him by the hand and in nano seconds, he had me against the wall of a Chagall gallery...arms pressed above my head...and he kissed me...Oh my God--he kissed me.

I went in, announced to my friends I was leaving and I'd see them in 4 days--(he'd asked me to spend 4 days with him in the city).

I wish I could adequately describe the looks on my friends' faces as I packed up to leave with this man, who by now, had felt he had just gotten a deal on a really good used car-(Big Chill). My girlfriend had him in the corner writing down his license number, taking his cards...called the hotel he said he was at to make sure he was there--called the number he gave her to make sure his mobile rang..(sigh)..I was blitzed.

(And for you people out there who are saying it was a mistake? Well, perhaps it was stupid--but man, did we have a grand time)

It was, in his words, "Quite intense"...we talked as though we had known one another for years. I won't go into all the wonderful things he said, but I will tell you two...

Firstly--he told me I reminded him of his old girlfriend but they couldn't be together because she was "crazy", ans, Secondly, he stopped me on the street, held my forearms and said, "Look, if I'm out of communication for a while, don't freak"

Without giving his name or much personal history, he owns a company which takes him to Australia, Far East, the states and he is continually on the go.

In late December--the 23rd to be exact, I got a text--a freaking text, telling me he and his old girlfriend had become serious and it is only fair I never contact him again. See, I didn't think about the non-communication, becausssssse, he said..blah, blah, blah

In January, thanks to a Facebook snafu--we got in contact again. I've not asked what happened..I've not asked what his motives are. What I did was agree to meet him in Chicago for 4 days. The tickets are bought, the reservation is made at The James. Here's the rub..I've not heard anything from him for six days.

Now..I've made my decision as to how to deal with this...but I want to know what you would do? How do you handle this type of situation. We've all been there--wringing our hands...what to do, what to do...

I'm out there learning to date, too, folks...maybe we can figure it out.